“An authentic suffering is worth more than an illusory happiness” Emmanuel Carrère

I still remember the shock that I felt the first time I crossed those cold, steel doors. Being on the other side created a feeling so strange in me that I commonly have a hard time finding the words to describe the experience. We did not belong in that place. It was not a scene from a movie, it was real life, and it was my life. Fear and sadness took me over.

Some may say that enduring the same incidence continuously might lessen the pain, molding some sort of resistance. Personally, I cannot sympathize with that thought. What I can assure you is that my world was forever transformed from being so imminently close to the unfortunate episodes that my son has suffered, including periods of psychiatric hospitalizations.

My work has often been characterized for showing the beauty in simple things, and from there I’ve attempted to construct visual poetry. However, the series Fix Me has allowed me to delve into perilous, disturbing memories while continuing to preserve an artistic drive.

Photography is an art form that is frequently used to tell stories. Those can be perspectives of how we see others or explorations of that one who stands behind the lens. Although I would not label myself as a documentary photographer, in this work I have taken my camera for the first time to narrate with images a complex and deeply personal story.

The technical decisions to document this series had to be adapted to each location. I used three cameras: the Nikon D800, the Leica D-LUX, and some images were taken with an iPhone since the use of a camera would’ve been an invasive and disrespectful act to the occurrences happening in front of me. Such sensitivity was required in order to obtain the rawest portrayal of such sad events.

The misfortunes with my son have taught me to be more compassionate and patient, as well as becoming conscious of human limitations. Surprisingly, I recognized that these extreme situations have led me to a deep transformation and healing of my soul.

I did not expect to have this kind of life, but I have chosen to decorate it with dreams, to sustain it with faith and to face it with love, gratitude, and courage.

One in five people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives, according to the World Health Organization study in 2018. Despite the fact that they are among the leading causes of ill-health and disability worldwide, there is still so little understanding and embarrassment, which leads to discrimination and neglect.

By sharing my intimate journey, I hope I may touch the lives of others dealing with similar issues by realizing how common mental disorders really are, encouraging them to talk openly about their struggles. Personal stories have the power to move people, it is the best way to understand and learn. Perceiving mental health from a more educated lens will, in turn, contribute to the overall reduction of shame and stigma.